God Publishes The Last Testament

‘Tis the season to be offended. It seems God decided to publish another testament and choose the unlikely route of getting a comedy writer to transcribe it. David Javerbaum, former writer and producer of “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” has written the book “The Last Testament, A Memoir by God” as a message from God, transcribed by himself. Other books by the same author are listed as the Old Testament, the New Testament and the Koran. In the book, God describes Himself as “Maker of Little Green Apples; Rester of Merry Gentlemen; and Sole Knower of the Beach Boys.” The book is likely to offend people of all faiths by taking a light-hearted look at religion.  Included is a message to those who are too noisy in the bedroom, “Stop shouting my name.”  Verily, thou must checketh it out.